I Have To Be Up Early. It’s Too Late To Sleep.
Perhaps A Relief From Boredom? It Does Hate Boredom.
it feels like
it’s right there
right in front of me
my mind is screaming and pounding on the glass but
every hit seems to strengthen it
what is this
it’s the stimulants
tiredness + minor sleep deprivation + stimulants
that something will happen
anxious that nothing will
the tightness in my chest
in my chest
is it pain? i don’t know
that’s the only way i can describe my mind
maybe it’s screaming in pain
maybe it’s screaming in desperation
maybe all of those
i don’t know
Both. im tired leave me alone
but this is fun
There Are Other Things To Do.
it won’t let me do them
What Is It?
i don’t know
Yes You Do.
i don’t want to say
If You Don’t Say, You’re Lying.
i know but i donStop Making Excuses.
You’re Lying To The People Who Care About You.
but i’m not! they know the situation
No, They Know What You Tell Them.
i tell them the truth
You Embellish The Truth.
not in my favor! Liar.
You’re Just A Perverted Fuck Who Sits At Home Doing Nothing Of Value Tricking People Into Liking You So You Can Take Advantage Of Them.
why are you doing this
Why Do You Let Me.
ok but back to your previous point it’s not that i’m not in control it’s that i’m not in control right now
What’s The Difference?
i am only a slave until it is over
Why Do You Do It In The First Place?
because most of the time this doesn’t happen
i don’t have a problem i’m just having the equivalent of a bad trip. you know this, i know this, why are we having this discussion
Why Do You Keep Writing It. Clearly You Want It To Be Read.
no i’m just bored
You’re Really Sounding Like You Have A Problem. Are You Sure You Want To Publish This?
i don’t see why not. if anyone doesn’t believe me that this is just the ramblings of a sleep deprived brain artificially kept awake and there’s no substance to it then that’s their problem
the screaming stopped
i really am fine, just a spike of anxiety
hindsight’s 20/20 eh